Controlling my identity, Calling a Spade a Spade
I may have made a few posts about my remote job search and career goals, but overall this is a personal website, not a business website. I don’t give this website out to employers but if they find it they find it.
My linkedin profile is my business website.
These videos are basically about personal life, your close friends, your acquaintances and the history and future of social media.
These videos are getting it done for me. By talking it out, I’m realizing that I don’t need to burn bridges with people and that was over the top and hysterical. On the other hand, how close could we have really been as friends to begin with? To become close friends, we have a long way to go. I thought some friends were pretty close as friends, but the truth is they too were probably just hanging out in the group. This would mean I’m morally justified in starting over, but that I shouldn’t unnecessarily burn bridges.
All of us who used social media share a common experience, but we used it for different motivations. Some were more blogging, while others were sharing their social life. All of us learned about the social media while using it.
I wasn’t that party popular and even I’m realizing the ratio of party friends to close friends is much more skewed in favor of party friends than I thought. Even I’m having the crisis. People who partied a lot more than I did are probably having an even bigger crisis.
The problem in white collar business is always weak links.
It’s the HR person who finds the reason not to hire you.
It’s the person who blames other people for his own mistake.
Get rid of the weak links and I’ll prosper in an analytical job in the office. All I need is a chain of coworkers who do not actively mess me up and let me perform to my high level. I am not one to mingle too much with customers (although I do a little bit), but I can analyze data very well.
I’m not just a programmer, I”m also an analyst and this is not a business website. It’s a personal website and I just happen to be discussing business.
In the days of canned software, it’s not wise to pursue a career where you’re only coding and not also analyzing and interpreting the data.
In small companies programmers tend to also be analysts. I am confident that my analytical skills can continue to be useful to businesses even if I do not write code.
(edit: I’m also searching on site in Philadelphia)
I have to give credit to a nameless person for recommending I get back on indeed. It’s highly improved and now they send companies to you instead of having to search. I’m confident that over time we can find a good match for a remote job. Getting the right match is important and I explain my strengths and weaknesses. I also would like to recommend the A to Z database, which can be used for free in libraries. You can use that to look up executives and companies by SIC / NAICS code. Finally Fiverr was recommended to me and I signed up, but have not created a strong presence there.
I’m planning to relaunch my career as a remote worker. I think the physical jobs I do prove that I am dependable. The social media use may appear controversial, but it proves I operate computers well and write well. The previous computer programming I used to do in the office proves I have the potential to program.
It is tempting to look back in life, but the tail wind always pushes you forward. You simply turn your neck and still get pushed forward. You have to use the tail wind and just set your sights to the front. However, I want people who truly liked me as a friend to continue their own forward movement. I feel like we are at the end of an era where people are growing into a new life from an old life. What I am trying to do is bring people across the barrier so that our friendships are preserved but our heads are not turned backwards.
I have had a difficult era that I am stuck in with the problem of back pain and related DUIs which took out my ability to drive, along with probation sticking me inconveniently in Lancaster. It’s been difficult also to see the collapse of social networking (which is not the same as social media) and lose that sense of togetherness online.
But the way forward is to find a job in a major northeastern city or a remote job, with my good computer skills. The way forward is for true friends to really support me. This is a difficult, painful era in my life, but rebuilding is possible.
It’s difficult also to have bulked up to the point where running is no longer feasible. My close comrade committed suicide and his close friend followed.
What I think facebook is guilty of this. We were all online, but we were all online for our own separate motivations. Some sharing pictures. Some writing blog stye updates. Some sharing central feed posts. Some chatting with a few friends. Some talking politics. Some organizing for weddings.
Facebook created the image that we were closer friends than we actually were in our 20s, then ripped the image apart in our 30s.
We need to think deeply if we were ever as close as we pretended and then remake the friendships if they actually were real. Those of us who never were friends in the past could always re-evaluate and see if we are better fit to be friends now.
If I did actually destroy good friendships, I want to repair them. If we were just imagining it there’s nothing to repair, but we could evaluate each other.
We need to take a long view on this and stabilize in the middle.
Until facebook does its next major redesign, the downward spiral is going to continue as traffic continues to hemorrhage and we will all feel “unfriended.”
edit: I really loved and found comfort in the idea that we were all online using our real names together. And we’re never going to have that feeling again because Facebook has hit its peak and the rest of the web is anonymous or semi-anonymous. I’m truly open to coming together with friends. The days where I’m trying to shock are over.
I’ve been debating putting my foot down and telling lancaster county probation that living in lancaster just doesn’t work and it’s the cause of the mental health problems. I don’t want to be here and I’m stuck here.
One of the things that has held me back is the potential that some people I know online could become closer to me – at least as friends – if I don’t move to Philly since we’re originally from Lancaster.
But at this length of time I’m starting to conclude that it’s all an illusion, there’s no desire to break through the internet profiles, so I should just do what I’m doing because our relationship is internet based only. Internet only relationships can be maintained anywhere. And the problem is if facebook declines we’ll lose that part of connection as well.
This is the truth. If I’m forced to make a quick decision about geographical relocation, nobody who hasn’t met me in person and only traded profiles with me over the internet would stop me. If you wanted to hold me back from moving to a certain place you’d be reaching out to me and telling me not to in person.
What my “friends” have to decide is this. If our relationship is going to be mainly telephone and internet, it doesn’t really matter if I leave Lancaster and Philly is still pretty close. If we’re actually going to hang out in person, then where I move would matter.
I have no person, male or female, who hangs around me enough in person, that if there was an impending move to philly I would break it off for them.
Basically, by not hanging out with me in person, you’re telling me “it doesn’t matter where you go we’ll still have the internet and/or or phones.”
I’ve already gotten over the group thing where people hang out with popular class mates and it annoys me. I’m looking at people as individuals.
I’m good with having remote located friends but understand that if my friends don’t do anything they’ll stay that way.
The only reason I called out certain geographical areas was for shock value to people who have never seen bad neighborhoods. They don’t know what a bad neighborhood is like. I was living in LItitz Pa at the time. Former class mates just haven’t seen broad enough horizons. That was all it was about.
With a new phone, I’m just never calling out neighborhoods again. There is a chance people can reverse lookup your name from your phone over time and misunderstandings can happen. People who accessed my facebook from the old phone, reverse looking it up, should now get what happened.
Never think that because you don’t give people your name, that they won’t use your phone to find your facebook. That’s what I’m learning. And even if you shut off phone verification on facebook, it could show up on google in a few years.
I also believed the phone got tapped. It was an old model, which could be tapped. Weird people showed up getting hints on my behaviors. The phone shut itself off in response to a post.
Note: I did not upload any original photos of any neighborhoods, I merely posted links.